NO… Maybe I should define that ?

NO…

Not now…

Maybe later…

I don’t think so…

I’m busy…

I can’t…

Please ask someone else…

So many ways to say NO yet I find myself not able to use any of them? Why? Why do I have this burning pit in my stomach when people ask me for something, when I know I am overwhelmed? I should use any of the above statements but before I know it the word YES, sure, I can, No worries, I got this come flying out of my mouth before I even know what has hit me. So off I go with another responsibility, another task even though some of the ones at home are not complete. Am I the only one with this undying urge to say YES all the time ? Or is it a trend amongst busy stay at home moms? Maybe my “yes’s” to the outside world fill a void, an acknowledgment of worth, a thank you that we sometimes don’t get in our day to day lives from our husbands, kids, the laundry or the rug that was full of dog hair.

I am currently in a bible study titled Weird, Because normal isn’t working. The first three chapters are on time and how as a Christian I should prioritize my time and focus on the things that are most important. I should focus on things that God has intended for my life and in order to do that I can’t allow the busyness of my life to overpower His plans. Even if it means stopping one of the kids activities, cutting back on the time I spend volunteering, Setting time limits on specific activities… all of which may seem “weird” to others. The problem, none of the above options are options for my family. We only allow each of our kids to participate in one extracurricular at a time, BUT I have 6 kids and at the current time only 4 of them are actively involved in something, so cutting out an activity is not an option because If I do that to one I have to do it with all and that is unrealistic! I love to volunteer my time, it’s not a burden for me and I enjoy giving back so again, not an option. Could I set time limits on Facebook, emails, and the dreaded new addiction of mine PINTEREST! Absolutely. So there you have it I have found an option to give me more time to do something of more importance the question is will I use it? Probably not, I enjoy those things, I love to see what people are up to on Facebook, I have to check emails or I will never be on top of my kids school requirements and let’s face it Pinterest is genius and though I may sit in front of the computer searching for another great idea, I have actually found some great ideas that inspire and enlighten my creative side and that makes me feel good!! What I do need to do is to learn to say NO occasionally to those things that I truly don’t want or need to do. One of the suggestions in the book was to ask one question, “IS IT WISE?” Is it the best thing I can do for myself or my family OR could there possibly be something out there that is better? Maybe, just maybe I should stop and think about what I am about to say yes to before I let it just spill out of my mouth.

I have said on so many occasions “if I only had more time!” As stated in Weird the answer isn’t MORE time but a greater awareness of the time I do have. Just because I CAN do something doesn’t mean I SHOULD.

The birth of our newest addition has forced me to slow down and really contemplate my “yes’s” and I have enjoyed feeling a freedom to say NO. So I guess my point is this, shouldn’t we be doing a few things at 100% rather than 100 things at 10%? Shouldn’t we all find the things we are truly passionate about and reserve our yes’s for those? Each of us should also carve out some time to just refuel, or as I call it recharge our batteries. Even my kids know when I say I need 30 minutes to recharge my battery that I just need a bit of down time and that is ok. I have also made a more conscious effort to carve out as much family time as possible around our hectic schedules, Remember Tame Tuesday’s? We have also had days that Scott came home early from work so we could eat dinner as a family before the chaos begins. So call this Weird if you want, but what maybe someone else’s normal doesn’t have to be yours. Follow your on Timeline and do what benefits you and your loved ones the most, and if that NO pit in your stomach shows up, ask yourself this, “Is this wise, or am I just saying yes to say yes?”