“Silence Is Not An Option”
I was raised Catholic, with beautiful traditions, moving hymns, and priests who read from two passages and the gospel each week. I had never been in an arena where women took scripture and made it applicable to me. I never knew that was possible. One woman spoke of how God had reached down into her own personal “pit of hell” and pulled her out. A comedian evoked laughter amongst trying circumstances, the Lord had redeemed all that was broken in her. I remember soaking it all in, like a child sitting on Santa’s lap, soaking in all he is promising to deliver on Christmas morning. I was intrigued, yet a little dismayed. Of course, it is easy to have this type of relationship with God when you have stories like this. You know the kind, the ones that there is no other option. Abuse, betrayal, addiction, loss, abandonment. But what about me? 20 something years old, good marriage, easy pregnancies, parents still together… I had no “story” to share, I really didn’t even want one.
I could hear Him so clearly, I could feel a passion, not created in my own desires, stirring inside of me. As tears began to flow uncontrollably, I shared with an older more “Christian” friend of mine that I felt God was calling me to ministry, He was telling me at that moment, in that arena, YOU will do this one day. You will share your story. My words to her were, “I think I just heard the voice of God call me to do this, but I don’t even have a testimony or a story to share?” My canvas was blank.
Little did I know, God was holding the paintbrush and the masterpiece had just begun.
Twenty years later and my relationship with the Lord has been quite exhilarating. I have loved Him more than life itself, and I have loathed Him because “this or that” hurt so bad and it wasn’t “fair.” Through it all, He has never abandoned me and consistently reminded me of that evening 20 years ago. The life I have experienced since that conference has thrilled me and at times shaken me to my core. My family has suffered loss, financial setbacks, unwanted moves, chronic pain, addiction, and so much more. My surrender to the Lord has been a process, I like being in control. As the day of my 45th birthday came and went, I knew that the time was now.
Esther 4:14 says “For if you remain silent at this time, relief and deliverance for the Jews will arise from another place, but you and your father’s family will perish. And who knows but that you have come to your royal position FOR SUCH A TIME AS THIS?”
Silence is no longer an option.
Courtney Doyle Ministries goal is to empower Mothers to live authentic lives through vulnerable storytelling, humorous insights, and practical strategies to unmask the expectations of modern motherhood.
What happens when our children are on a different path than what we envisioned?
How do we find peace when they are walking through destructive decisions?
Are we hurt when it appears as though they don’t “measure up” to what society expects?
As mothers, we carry the worry, guilt, and shame that somehow WE have failed. Freedom from these lies rests in what God says about us and trusting His plan for our children.
Join me as I explore how “Masquerading Martha” longs for courage, “Controlling Cassidy” struggles with surrender and “Disillusioned Demi” defines her purpose. We will uncover that peace, surrender, and purpose come from our trust in God. He is the one who holds the paintbrush to the canvas of our lives.
Until next time,