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I had my hair highlighted, a transformation I longed for during this quarantine. I am naturally a blonde (thanks dad), but have darkened with age and kids. It is fine and limp requiring color to provide depth and texture. I say all of this not to reduce the effects of the last few months to a comparison of highlighted hair but to confess this is not my only transformation. Allow me to explain.

I can only hope that the past two months have been transformational for you. Maybe not everyone reading this considers that a good thing. Maybe you were happy with who you were, how your family operated and saw NO reason for change and surely no reason for a radical transformation. Perhaps dark, unruly lacking depth is not the adjectives you would use for your life, or possibly you were unaware and that was ok with you. Could you be so comfortable, you never noticed it could be better? Yet, here we are. I don’t know how any of us are coming out on the other side of this world pandemic, economy shut down and mandated quarantine the same as we were before. If this time has done anything, it has been exposing. Exposing our patience, our ability, our needs, the things we use as a crutch when removed begging us to reevaluate who we really are and what we truly value.

So who are you now?

I was comfortable before…today, I am content.

I was tired…today, I am rested. (with the exception of the days that are a direct result of Netflix binge watching)

I was busy, too busy…today, I am focused.

I was scattered…today, I am intentional.

I was frustrated…come on guys, I am still frustrated, I am homeschooling my children! (I am a work in progress!)

I thrived in control…I welcome release.

Why did it take a world pandemic to transform us? Have we become a nation of people so self centered we can’t recognize that life is supposed to be transformational, without the aid of a pandemic? Under “ordinary” circumstances I hope I have grown, I long for change, I dream of being better tomorrow than I am today. I want to be better wife, mother and friend. I want to increase in contentment, peace, grace and mercy. Why can’t we recognize change opportunities, minus a virus, minus isolation, minus loss?

I am not, will not, and can not be transformed on my own. I am selfish by nature, assuming my control is sufficient. Without radical change in my life I will continue to focus on me and mine, missing you and missing HIM. Transformation in any form comes from Him, the one who loves us beyond any measure of love we can understand. He loves us too much to leave us where we are. That doesn’t mean we like it, but we should embrace it, ask for it, accept it.

In the book of Romans chapter 12 verse 2 Paul writes; Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

Paul wrote this letter to the Romans as an introduction and a clear declaration of his faith and purpose. He builds a case for the lostness of humanity and the necessity of God’s intervention. Do NOT conform to the pattern of this world, BE transformed in your MIND… THEN and only THEN can you see God’s will for your life.

If my mind is not set on the things of the Lord, then it is set on the things of Courtney and no pandemic, no suffering, NOTHING will transform me. It will in fact hurt me, burden me, sadden me, and not change me. I don’t know about you friend, but I want to be changed. I want to be transformed.

My hope for myself and for you is that we don’t let this season of our lives go without accepting the change that is beckoning us in. Lord come, “highlight” the dark, selfish parts of my heart, add depth and texture to my soul, renew my mind that I can have a mind set on you and your perfect and pleasing will for my life. Transform me, renew my mind, strengthen my resolve to live my life for you.


Until next time,



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Hi, thanks for stopping by!

Words are my late night brain dump. They record stories, experiences, and life. What I never imagined, was this "therapy" as I like to call it, was not only for me, but for you as well. Enjoy!

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