Tissues for Tears

I remember being a child, spending time with my Grandmother. She visited, and I stayed with her often. Back then kids didn’t attend evening events with their parents as frequently as we allow our kids to attend events with us, or at least in my house that’s how I was raised. Mom and Dad had a football game to attend, I went to Grandma’s. Mom and Dad were going to dinner, I went to Grandma’s. I remember there was always good times to be had at Grandma’s house. She cooked, we played games, I laid on the couch, she would watch T.V., laughing at Johnny Carson and I would stare at a framed picture of a little girl with red hair imagining who that girl was, what was her story. I would make up scenarios in my mind about her life and who she was. I just remember her being pretty and having beautiful long red hair. To this day, I don’t know if that was just a pretty picture in her home, or a painting of someone significant. What I did know was that my Mom was an only child, her only sibling died at birth due to complications. I have heard the story numerous times, and each time, sadness and anger filled both my Mother and Grandmothers emotions. Deborah was her name. Maybe this is what Deborah would have looked like. I am sure she would have been beautiful and I know she would have been well loved based on how my Grandmother knew how to love. She was a natural caregiver, hard worker, strong and independent. My Great Grandmother lived next door to her so often I bounced between the two homes, getting my fill of love and spoiling. One thing I also remember is tissues, a box next to their chairs, lying beside their bedside, and balled up inside their purses. My Mother also always had tissues handy, I remember the pocket of her robe, her jackets, and inside her purse as well. A tissue was never too far. As a child I thought, yuck! Why in the world would someone have a “used” tissue in their pocket, by their chair, in their purse? Throw it away, right? Then it happened, I became a mother. Tissues found their rightful place in my life almost immediately. Wiping baby noses, spit up, tears, those tissues became a staple with little ones. As they grew out of the stages where I had to wipe their little faces tissues no longer had a place, or did they? As my children have aged, entered the teenage years and adulthood I have come to the realization that those tissues in all those secret places that my Mother and Grandmother kept stored for easy access weren’t for blowing their noses but rather for wiping tears, their tears.

As I have had to let my children go to become the men and women God intends them to be I have noticed my tears have become plentiful. I cry out of joy, I cry out of worry, I cry out of sadness. I have come to an age when I see beauty in things I missed completely when I was a young mother. A baby can bring me to tears, and an elderly person can turn them on just as easily. A song, a message in church, a T.V. show, a call from a friend. The reunions with my college kids, and the goodbyes. If you are a mother you have had dreams and desires for your children, and when you see them living their dreams and lives to the fullest, it’s emotional. Then there are the kids who are lost, not where they need to be, captive to their own sins, suffering and your tears fall when you cry out to the Lord for their lives to be restored. My tears are welcome and understood by the Lord, He too wept. John 11:35 says “Jesus wept.” This was after he was told of Mary and Martha’s brother Lazarus’ death and upon him seeing the woman and his Jewish friends weeping over the loss of him. He wept with His believers, He was deeply moved by their sadness (v. 33 & 38). Jesus was filled with sorrow and anguish as he prayed in the Garden of Gethsemane over His pending death (Mathew 26:38, Mark 14: 34, Luke 22:44). All throughout scripture there are references of people crying out in joy, anguish, fear, distress, cries of concern, fervent cries for the Lord to hear their petitions.

He hears us, he sees us as we pull our tissues out and wipe our eyes.

Psalm 56:8 tells us;

You keep track of all my sorrows.[a]

You have collected all my tears in your bottle.

You have recorded each one in your book.

I will proudly carry my tissues for the next generation to see that tears, cries to the Lord are acceptable and needed as we navigate the seasons of Motherhood. He created us to be emotional, loving, caring women and He wants us to cry out to Him in all things. So, grab some tissues, share them with another mother who may be needing them. Weep with her, celebrate with her, pray with her, wipe her tears, wipe your own, you are not alone.

Until next time,Courtney